What I Remember

As I mentioned, I had some strokes in 2022. Officially, they were cryptogenic strokes because there was no specific cause identified. Still, I really wanted to know the cause so I could be sure to avoid another stroke in the future (cuz MAN they suuuuuck).

Last year, I learned that I’d had a stroke at the tail end of a heatwave in Texas in July. So I went to my phone to see what I was doing around that time, and I had numerous clips of me practicing dunks out on the driveway. So now I had a compelling explanation. But then the plot thickens…

Last summer (about a year later), I noticed a voice note recording on my phone, which I made after being admitted to the hospital for having active strokes. On it, I commented that my head hurt in a way that reminded me of when I had a concussion. Whereas extreme temperatures are top risk factors for strokes, I wonder if it reminded me of experiencing a concussion because it was in that same area.

Also, after my ex-fiancée finally allowed me back to MY house, she had me sleeping in my office. One night, I was clearly still confused and coming off of hospital drugs, cuz I urinated all over the floor. And I do mean ALL OVER. But I was so embarrassed that I just wanted to quickly clean it myself. Unfortunately, before I could do that, the ex-fiancée opened the door, looked down, and said, “Oh hell no” then turned around again. That reaction is like… I don’t want to say seared into my mind cuz I know people have overcome more—and I intend to, too. She was just disgusted, and it’s quite embarrassing to have been such a wreck. It’s not like I was turning over a new leaf! I had just been hospitalized for months and then went to the house of my mother and her husband (my father passed when I was a child, unfortunately).

Anyway, I know that wasn’t my finest moment, but I didn’t want to have any strokes! Yet, I’m a big proponent of knowing as much as is knowable, and so I suppose I should be grateful we never got married. Still, it’s such a shame to have been so wrong about someone. I try to exercise and have good judgment at all times, but WOO-BOY I was wrong about that one!

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