In my experience, the difference between what you want and what you’ve got is not what you think. Here, I’ll use a few examples to illustrate — these are totally fictitious, but they represent a reality I’ve seen numerous times. Example one: a dude is all downtrodden that nobody likes him, romantically-speaking. He bemoans that he tries so hard and is (supposedly) *such* a nice guy (which itself is a dubious claim). However — perhaps relevant, I quickly notice that his breath smells rancid. Ok, another similar example: someone is sad that nobody wants to be his friend. I can’t help but notice he puts people down, calls people out, and etc. And a final example that doesn’t entail humans being social (actually, it kinda does, cuz what is life but social?): a person has been in multiple car accidents, and chalks it up to bad luck. You notice that when you go somewhere with this person, the ride is _terrifying_. You always seem to be following other cars _very_ closely. Additionally, when the person gets a call, driving seems very secondary. Beyond that, the phone is usually mounted to the windshield and playing videos while you ride. When did that even become socially acceptable?
In these examples, the constant is that the person in question doesn’t have a very accurate self-perception. Indeed, in terms of evaluating oneself, these example people are like looking at carnival mirrors, where reflections are all distorted and bizarre-looking. I once heard a saying, like, “we judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions.” Now that is some real talk. To quote another saying I’ve heard, “We’re all the hero of our own story.”
In both of these sayings, what seems to be missing is self-awareness. Just like in the preceding scenarios, the hypothetical people all lacked self-awareness, which resulted in very solvable problems related to the individual’s self-perception. I understand, and I can’t begrudge folks for wanting to be like Mary Poppins: “Practically perfect in every way.” However, even if you were, folks would complain about _something_, possibly even that you’re “too perfect.” Nobody is immune.
And back to the original, over-arching point: the difference between what you want and what you’ve got. We live in a society that very much operates on the notion of chronic wrongness. Indeed, when you find a perceived shortcoming to address, a marketer seeks to ensnare you in a web of targeted ads, designed to degrade you so that you spend money to make the bad feelings stop. And please note, there are surely things you can do to deeply improve your life, I have little doubt. However, I think it’s highly unlikely you’ll be targeted with an ad for it. After all, sellers generally benefit from keeping you feeling degraded. It’s like the bad reputation of auto mechanics circa the 1970s. Sure, that thing you knew you needed fixed is fixed, but lo and behold, the mechanic found a few other things that need to be fixed, too. Good thing you brought it in today! 🙄
The reality is that you were born naked, and someday, you will be dead. For the moment in between those two times, please remember that you are more than “a consumer.” Yes, you must eat to survive, but that doesn’t mean you have to eat everything served to you.