Solitude

For much of my life, I spent a lot of my time with other people. Even following the death of my father, I spent a lot of time with my friends when I wasn’t in school.

However, I’m now at a stage in life where many ppl are having children, etc., so I find this time to be considerably less social than when I was a teenager. Moreover, my perception is that when you’re a kid, “the world is your oyster” (an expression I don’t totally understand), but by the time you’re 40, you should know everything and be ready to pass it to the younger generations. I highly doubt that’s even possible, but I digress.

Anyway, what I’ve learned is:

1. Health is wealth — stay in good shape, kids!!!
2. The cheese stands alone — ppl are afraid of suffering and worry it may be contagious. As such, when you’re facing challenges, you may be facing them alone.
3. Like Oscar Wilde wrote (and I learned from the art film “Can’t Hardly Wait”), “A true friend stabs you in the front.” Following my experience with strokes, my fiancée left, which I understand is pretty common. Obviously, this was sad, but I [am grateful to] find the whole experience rather enlightening. When I was a child, there was a t-shirt that said, “Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone.” When I was a child, that was pretty funny on a shirt. Nowadays, I think it’s more like: “When things are good, ppl want to be your friend. When you have challenges, prepare to face them without friends.”

I remember on the video “The Secret,” there was a line that really stood out in my mind. Some woman said something like, “If bad things happen, never mention them.” I remember that rubbed me the wrong way, because it seemed like a way to maintain the status quo. I’m no expert, but my impression is that large-scale changes are based on complaints. I think the idea was, “Don’t just complain about it,” and I agree with that. However, I think it often takes time to get things right. I highly doubt Romeo and Juliet was a first draft.

Anyway, I forget my point, but I’ll share an MLK, Jr. quote that I think of often. King (I think) said [something like], “Everyone must do two things alone: die and have faith.” Even if ppl were here with me, they wouldn’t be me. Their experience would be completely different. And so, solitude is definitely not inherently bad, especially when you’ve got [a song in your heart and] a puppy!